Each one of us are responsible for our own feelings. People are not responsible for how we feel and we are not responsible for how others feel.We can take care of our thoughts and actions, but finally others will create their own feelings and we should not feel guilty if others are creating pain. Once we are able to understand it then we can see that others don’t hurt us nor they give us pain,it indeed is our own creation.A little bit of more into self and we will find we have no pain to played with.
Psychological pain can be dissolved. The other pain, the physical pain, is part of our life and death therefore there is no way to dissolve it. But it never creates a problem. Have we ever observed it?…..the problem ,the pain is only there when we are thinking of it too much.
“Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom”–RUMI
The real problem in life is always the psychological pain. The physical pain is just a part of life. The moment we start thinking about it, it becomes psychological one and no way it is physical. When we think about death,there is fear. But when death actually happens there is no fear. Fear is always about something in the future. Fear never exists in the present moment.
So if we can dissolve the psychological pain, no problem is left. Then we can start living in the moment. “Psychological” pain is created by our mind and speaks only of the past, of the future, never of the present. Mind never exists in the present. In the present only reality exists, not the mind. Mind and reality never can come across each other. Reality is unknown to mind and vice-versa. We always find it easy to blame others for our pain,we always find it easy to complain. But I thought,a question I put to my own self…If I am able to accept the positive experiences of my life, that bring me joy and happiness, without even questioning their origin or trying to avoid them………….then why not try this ,why not question again……. what if I did the same for the other emotions I fear so much, such as sadness, pain, fear, anger, and loneliness?
Emotions—be they uplifting and joyful, or sorrowful and scary. Once I began to surrender, once I began to accept myself,for once when I started to look at my inner self I reduced my tendency to seek someone to blame. The cycle of victimization is slowly disappearing, and being replaced with my own growth and healing.
I learned that by embracing the darkness within my soul, all the while shining a light on it, I can better see the depth and darkness of my pain. It does show me where the source of my suffering resides…. It was me, in me all the way long. I myself was creating pain by staying in past,thinking about what is gone.But just understanding it intellectually won’t help,it never has,it never will…..we have to take a step ,do it. Do it, and then the next questions start disappearing. Once we do this then we will find there is not any problem left,there is no question of pain there anymore.
“But what about physical pain?” Now this is how problems arise. Intellectually we may have understood one thing, but it will not make any sense. The next question immediately brings our reality to the surface that we have not understood. Thus just knowing how to stop pain will never helps all we need to find first is what this pain is all about,why we keep creating….once our why and what gets clear ,answers flow from within.