Wow ordinary guy you are extra-ordinary.

Hey wait what is wrong with you……I turned around to see who is speaking? No one there to be seen. I started walking further and the voice came again,what is wrong with you….I stopped and looked around,no one again. Got to read two post at wordpress ,spending some time walking under the sky ,hugging the trees and playing with the lovely leaves….I know who was talking to me. It was my inner voice which somehow had stopped talking or say I was too noisy that I could not hear it for so many days. 

I sat down on the grass and tried listening to the most cute sweet beautiful and calming voice.,it has been months now since I heard such pleasant voice .(na no more repeating story). The voice asked me how can someone who gave you happiness ,made you smile give you pain and tears,please answer. I was taken back ,yes how can she be the reason for both ,I mean either I didn’t want to know or even after knowing was not accepting that it is just me who is creating the whole drama of pain and hurt…..yes a bit harsh reality to accept but I had to ,I have to and only then it is possible for me to be again the real me. It may be just my story and maybe stories of many but we ourselves create pain,hurt and misery for us and somehow become addictive and just like to stay in there. 

Was I not happy before she came into my life–yes I was . Then why cannot you be happy again even if she left you. If you were happy before her too that means you are happy with self .Accept yourself and you will be happy again. The pain you creating is not physical pain ,it is self created pain and  if you can dissolve the psychological pain, no problem is left. Then you will start living in the moment. “Psychological” means: of the past, of the future, never of the present. Mind never exists in the present. In the present reality exists, not the mind. Mind exists in the past and the future, and in past and future reality does not exist. In fact, mind and reality never come across each other. They have never seen each other’s face. Reality remains unknown to mind, and mind remains unknown to reality.

  • The first step toward finding happiness after having been hurt is to understand why we are hurt, to get to the root of everything that makes the memories hard. There’s no guarantee that we will be able to communicate how we feel to the person who hurt us and even if we can there’s no guarantee they’ll respond how we want them to. But better to say what we want to so I started writing all in my journal. 
  • No amount of reassurance will change what happened.  We can’t find happiness by holding onto a painful story, trying to place in new, brighter light. We can only find happiness when we let it go and make room for something better. 
  •  We can either punish self and submit to misery or forgive self and create the possibility of happiness. It comes down to whether we decide to dwell or move on. Which do we choose: anger with ourselves and prolonged pain, or forgiveness and the potential for peace? Choice is ours and only ours. Need to think and move on.
  • The only way to experience happiness is to take responsibility for creating it, whether other people made it easy for you or not. We are not responsible for what happened to us in the past but now only how we keep reacting is our responsibility. Why let someone who hurt us in the past have power over our present?

 We all deserve to feel happy. We all deserve  peace.  Thing we all have in common is that only we can provide those things for ourselves. with some questions to self,some writings in journal,shedding some tears ,bearing pain and hurt under the tree the self asked me to get up and get going and let me be honest in some last 3-4 hours my eyes are not wet and I trust myself and am grateful to Source that my eyes will no more shed tears .

Not a fiction story nor a post about motivation ,simply written by a 35 year old guy who was crying for the loss of his Soul Mate,his first love who left the love story incomplete…but no more complains or no more triggers allowed to hurt me and make my life miserable again. Already wrote a post thanking her and Source and with this post I am grateful to all beautiful souls who have helped me recover and grateful to Thee and Universe for allowing me to be healed.

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Love you HAMESHA(forever)

You are the one and only who means everything to me,
the moment your thought comes I know that it is only you I need,
and these thoughts stay as every breath I take ,thus every moment of my life I love you,
it is only one you for whom I can do anything,
and thus after you said you wanna go away I never tried stopping you,
I love you from heart  and I respect you too,
thus I still always feel happy to know you are happy,
I still will defend you with every inch of mine,
I am ready to sacrifice anything and even this life for you,
with you is my life ,because you are everything to me.
You came as a divine blessing in my life,
thus you see why so much I care for you,
you are the most precious treasure of my life and thus I guard you every moment,
so what if you are far away from me now ,every breath I take is because of you.
I will love you till eternity .

You are one who is full of everything I needed,
you are my best friend,the best lover you are,
you have everything I searched  in a woman,
you are everything I had dreamed.
Your heart is so full of love and care,
your brain is wonderful as whole of you,
your heart is kind caring loving ,
you loved me the way I wanted,you gave me happiness unlimited,
so what if things changed and you are far away,
you are the only person I can be in love with.
You are perfect to me and you are my angel,
you are everything that I see when I think therefore,
I will keep loving you till eternity.

You are everything my heart and soul wanted,
I so deeply cherish you,admire you ,
you are my everything which I couldn’t treasure forever.
I promised you the very first day we met
and I forever keep the promise,of l only loving you,
you are everything I always wanted and needed.
You  are my only love as you are my soul mate.
I therefore will keep loving you till eternity.

Source brought us together,and source separated us
but my love is strong as it vibes in my heart.
Your smile there makes me smile here,
you been happy there makes me feel happy here,
I remember those touches and when I think my body shivers still,
so see you are in me ,with me even when we are apart,
no voice can I ever hear as sweeter as yours,
no face can I see ever as beautiful as yours,
You use to say the sweetest words I ever heard,
you showed me a reason to love myself,
you gave me love from heart and I am grateful forever,
you are in my mind always ,you are in every breath I take,
you own every inch of me
Someone like you I know I can never meet,
thus I will keep loving you till eternity.

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How a relationship she and me knew was perfect got over on physical levels

We all want to be happy and relationship with someone close from heart can be the most meaningful part of peoples lives.If relationships have to be really beautiful, it is very important that we as human being turn inward and look inside us deep before looking for something in other. If we can become a source of joy by ourselves and the relationship is all  about sharing  joy, not squeezing joy out of the other, then we can have wonderful relationships with anybody coming nearer.

Myself and my soul mate when we met where going by some hard phases of life ,she was shattered with her past relation and I was not in a position to commit due to various reasons ,one big reason was I never wanted to fall into relationship which might break heart of one and leave one crying-ghosh it happened but I still question why and what was wrong ? When we met we both were on the spiritual life journey and thus Source wanted us to meet and it was talks of spiritualism which bought us nearer and closer .I will say here what I see a good relationship must be as her and mine were based on those little little things -but it broke on physical level though we both are strongly together on spiritual level and therefore I forever for life am hers only.

  • JUDGING-In a truly pure heart love relationship we never judge each other almost for everything or say we don’t judge at all-she and me never judged each other and we could eat,wear,do whatever and stay as we wanted without saying anything.What I see is if two partners don’t judge what they eat and are comfortable sitting together eating what each other love the relationship grows deeper because food is love.So when we met each other as we were different in religion and from different continents somehow are eating habits  had no problems as we never complained what I like or she likes. I think therefore we were perfect.
  • COMMUNICATION-A very important thing in a relationship to be strong and healthy is having valuable deep conversations and even in silence there is a communication of heart.Me and she had so very deep talks that between us there was never for a moment an awkward silence even after we talked for 8-10 hours on phone at a time .Even if we sometimes couldn’t talk there never arised a silence because we were then relating to each other at heart level .Communication is a glue I feel in a relationship and we were perfect .We both were good listeners to each other and never jumped to conclusions on our own and we somehow even knew before words what the other was going to talk or ask because our heart talked to each other every moment.The silence brought intimacy between us because we were feeling each other and we were like one not two ,we never felt pressure and we were 100% ourselves.
  • TRANSPERANCY- Between her and me there was nothing we had hidden ,we knew each other deep almost everything we knew of each other .We were ourselves and thus we could express each other completely and had no fear of some weird feelings created.We both loved liked what we did and were helping each other grow and we use to talk about everything whether it was materialism or spiritualism.We believed in each other because we believed in our beings.
  • Togetherness- When we were together online or real we could spend hours together going deeper into each other.We never I feel had to speak about others and compare ourselves.We were so very much into each other that no phone calls would also separate us ..we were complete with each other and I felt we were perfect with imperfections accepted.
  • EXPRESS-We could easily express our feelings with no fear what the other will think ,we could relax comfortably together and had no other thoughts when we use to be one ,we felt we were at home when we were together as we were each others world ,there was never an effort to try and show how much we care and love it was naturally happening.We supported each other as we were working as support system of the other and knew no challenges were bigger then we as we are one not two,this made me believe we are perfect.
  • QUALITY TIME-The time we use to spend on facebook or skype or via emails or whatsapp was just fullof love and thus it was quality time and once we got to meet in real those two weeks was more then great ,we had fun unlimited and that moments spent made us love each other more deeper as every moment we were one was quality and this was one reason I believed our realtionship was perfect.
  • ONENESS-Even when we were far we were always there for each other no matter what time of day it was.Just an inner feeling use to arise that the other needs and we could text the very moment as if the heart was talking and vibrations were transmitted to each other.We had no complains why the one needs so much time because it was not consuming energy rather giving energy to each other.We use to like recharge each other so that no fears stayed and no tears came.We didn’t have to have reasons to talk because we were thought free and our heart allowed us to talk deep everything ,no secrets were there.There was never a feeling that we had to sacrifice our desires to make each other happy.We knew the path is not full of roses and there will be obstacles but we had discussed everything and thus I thought it was perfect relationship.
  • TRUST-There was deep trust even if somedays there was no  time to talk to each other and if we were to meet any other opposite sex we could easily say to each other and we didn’t need to hide what we do ,whom we meet and even if we couldn’t say there was no trust issue.The trust between her and me increased every moment till we were together.We were inspiration for each other,we were like teacher and student at times ready to listen understand each other and this was I thought perfect relationship.
  • FUN-We had gratitude for each other ,we were full of honesty we could show what we are in real .We never needed reasons to laugh and smile been together(sometimes now I have only tears not together anymore on physical ground), we just where so fun on phones,emails,phone calls and even in real life .We didn’t books or movies to watch to be happy ans smile and laugh just each others presence was the greatest gift and laughter was free.There was a passion to help each other grow and it is a key component for a great relaionship thus I thought we were in perfect relationship.
  • WILLINGNESS- We both were willing and lost each other into both to become one,it was a burning desire to be one and for months we were one nothing I trusted could ever separate us but……we were everything friends,lovers,mate all.We could stay naked all 24 hours and yet there was no embrace moments we accepted each other from outer and inner most.It never mattered what we wore we just loved anything and nothing on each other .She need not put makeup to come near me and from the moment we woke up we got lost in each other online or real.We were able to show our inner child to each other and we were truly special to each other,we were power of each other.There was no manipulation .,we were able to show our dark sides and fears with knowing that we both will only help not judge.
  • PATH-we were into eyes of each other,we could without second get lost into each other without fear to change ,we just easily truly accepted as we both are .We could stare into eyes and read each other and do what was needed to take fears away and give energy to overcome them even without words.Intimacy begins with eye contact as we opened each other on all levels.Thus I thought we were perfect to be one.
  • ABOVE PHYSICAL-our needs was not confined to be just physical because we met online and grew into each other online .We could always make heart base communication and our connection was based on mental emotional levels.We did met physically but that had nothing to change because we already formed deep heart relation.We could see problems which were coming and already we use to talk about how to get over them,thus I thought our realationship was perfect.
  • FREEDOM-we were absolutely feeling free and never ruled each other ,we simply were we .We never had to hide whom we are talking,what we are talking,who our friends are and what we talk to them-complete trust and freedom.We never had fear of expressing how we feel in any moment with together so when the other needed space we just understood and there was no self pity feeling or ego .We knew we both are not perfect so as we also know no one is perfect but we honored the imperfection of each other and see how obstacles will come and we holding hand overcome them..this made we trust our relationship was perfect.
  • ACCEPTANCE-We use to always encourage each other to love oneself.We taught each other importance of knowing self,ways to meditate,talk about thoughts discussed the rreality of life and after life,shared common passions ,desires and our purpose was the same even before we got to know each other.One reason Source wanted us to be one was that we had almost same goals and solutions.We never tried to change ourselves for each other and never demanded each other to change ,accepting each other as we are and this made me feel that we are one forever that we are perfect for each other.

I can at will say mine and her relationship was not a mess and only reasons I see that we are not one forever are that as things change,people change and maybe she also needed the feel to change and thus she had to bid me goodbye in the middle…no complains,no blames because as long as we were one our relatioship was never about she or me it was ‘WE’.Thus after she left I completely started accepting myself and came to full realization that the greatest relationship is one withself and if there is no love relationship with oneself there can never be ever growing relatioship of freedom and true love with others,and maybe she somehow left loving herself and got lost in the changes.Thus even if my and her relationship is not for eternity my love for her remains the same forever .,my love is not going to decrease because we are not one anymore instead I love myself more and thank her for allowing me to love her for some months which forever remains as sweet beautiful lovely prestigious gift for me.Though I question myself why it failed ,I see no reason it should have failed because we both were so perfect in knowing how a relationship can last forever.

I forver will love only her and happy to be single because I am happy for her that at lat she is with someone who seems to be the one she dreamed of…all the best my Soul Mate for your new love life ….this way I started healing myself.

Forever yours,you are my prayer

My love for you will never fade
No matter what has happened
As promised I will keep loving you forever
Never even in my dreams give up
Nothing can stop my love for you

This heart is yours and you are in my heart
Maybe Universe set us apart
And for how many life’s I don’t know
Let people say whatever they want
I will keep loving you for life’s

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I know your eyes are my guide
I will love you forever
You are my only prayer
Wait I will forever
I promised no one besides you

Therefore I will keep loving you
My heart lights remembering your smiles
My body vibrates hearing your giggles
I told you I love you even when I didn’t see you
So even after  we are apart I will keep loving you.

(FOREVER GRATEFUL YOU ALLOWED ME TO LOVE YOU AND GAVE ME REASON TO SMILE—-THANK YOU SOUL MATE)

That one hour

I have met my Soul Mate and I have talked about her many a times and I can go on talking for life and life’s about her,me and us(we) . Some how we were not one in past life and this life also the Source does not want her and me to be one . Okay I am not trying to talk about our love here I had to mention about her because the one hour we talked from facebook messenger app helped me see what is more important for the growth of myself on the journey. I for now 25 years have not sat with my father together because somehow between him and me there are issues ,have shared it on two of my post not for complaining about things again and again but to be able to see it feels is going wrong always has reasons . Soul Mate and I talk about everything ,anything because we talk to Souls not just the body and therefore many a times we need to go to each other to seek help so that we are not stuck on the path.

We both as Soul mates I feel have a very sacred contract to help each other to learn and grow in a particular lifetime or life’s to come as we I feel in some life have agreed to play various roles for each other. We know that if we as soul mates reject or hurt each other( done already this life) the pain deeply affects the heart and the soul, which can be devastating and difficult to recover from( but we have recovered because of deep COMMUNICATION,a very important virtue in a relationship) but the soul stretches and evolve profoundly. We both came to see why me and she will not be one together as life partners yet again……. and my father and me,myself don’t relate and this came out with lot of answers.

illusion

I was some 109 steps away from my house sitting on some stairs under the sky ,dark night with just a few stars but each star as if saying me many things along with my soul mate talking to me on phone. I was emotional and even even she was …when we met some few months ago on tumblr and then when we were together for 10 days in INDIA we never ever thought we will be separated forever again on physically grounds,no not talking about just distance in reality we will not be one even if we stay nearby this life as have not been able to be one in some past life’s also. Crying out ,remaining sad ,feeling guilty,feeling bad,complaining each other ,making the other feel down was not one thing we could do ,..no never can we both even think of such things …maybe this is one reason we are soul mates,we love each other truly deeply from souls. While talking we both came to see that there is reason why we meet so many people and why some have a great impact on us and in reality every soul we meet has some impact on us even if it is for a moment ,even if we do not realize.

We are made of Energy, not Matter—Socrates

Just a bit why we meet so many other Souls. 

Energy, or soul, is separate from matter, and that the universe is made of energy – pure energy which was there before man and other material things like the earth came along.We are of course made up of atoms. And atoms are continuously giving off, and absorbing, light and energy, all the time. It doesn’t stop even when we sleep. Every cell in the body has its atoms lined up in such a way that it has a negative and a positive voltage, inside and outside. So every cell in our body is a miniature battery. Each cell has 1.4 volts of energy – not much, but when you multiply by the number of cells in your body (50 trillion) you get a total voltage of 700 trillion volts of electricity in your body. Pretty strong stuff! —-‘CHI’ it is termed as by the Chinese.

Dr Bruce Lipton, a former professor of medicine at Harvard University and author of the best-selling ‘Your mind is greater than your genes’, explains that if you drop two equal pebbles at exactly the same time into water, from the same height, they will both produce the same wave ripples. …their waves will be in harmony with each other, and when their ripples meet the combined effect will be an amplification of the wavelength – in other words the merged waves become more powerful. But if you drop the pebbles from different heights or a millisecond apart, then when the resultant waves meet they will not be in harmony and will cancel each other out – the waves become weaker. You can try this out for yourself.

Regardless of what type of relation it is, the love we deserve is also the one that will want us as much as we want it—because the truth is, if we do love someone, the only thing we can do is set them free, knowing that if it is meant to be—they will return. And if they don’t, then it is just one beautiful lesson we learn. 

Lesson learned and so even when it is a hard reality to accept I will never be with the one I love. . . .. She only she is my Sweet beautiful Soul Mate, because she was there in other life’s and she will be in next life’s.