Forget everything that you have thought up to now meaningful, significant. Sacrifice everything for this ultimate because this is the only thing that will make you contented, that will make you fulfilled, that will bring spring to your being… and you will blossom into a thousand and one flowers.
—BUDDHA—
An incident just some few hours ago happened and I was shattered ,broken into pieces,crying,giving myself more pain ,hurting my own self and suddenly I was awaken.
Yes I love somebody, and will continue loving but the whole day I use to say her and to myself that , “I love you, I love you,” and I was enjoying saying it –in the beginning the other person I thought is happy,but sooner or later the thing became too much and suddenly everything seemed to be over ,maybe it is and just this thought was killing me as if. It was disturbing me ,myself and I was like blaming her and myself for this small incident which is not at all a big deal(this I came to realize a few minutes ago).
Many a times in our life we all have or will have this one situation arising whether we like it or not that the one whom we love the most ,the one whom we think is ours goes away leaving us alone and this one thought disturbs the whole peace and it is like a trouble,a problem. So this was happening with me and after she started avoiding my phone call and stopped replying to my messages (maybe blocked me at all social networks) ,I stopped crying and wanted to see the truth,the real truth –not why this happened but why was I suffering?
As clever as others I tried to find a solution ,a solution which 90% of us human beings do,we try to escape,we try to change it.We try to forget it and find tactics. There can be thousand and one strategies based on–religions,non religions or secular. What way I followed is not a question of importance nor it was an answer to myself, the whole thing I was doing was to somehow forget the pain.But all which I was trying was just temporary because a person who tries to forget misery can never find a way to know about the cause of misery ,and if we don’t find the reason ,the why,the how is not possible. I was not ready to follow this step now……..because it seemed temporary as the pain,suffering still remained there .
So I was now searching for a permanent way ,a permanent tactic and this is to go into the depth of the cause of suffering I was going by. I needed to understand and become aware ,I WANTED TO SEE IT. Let go or find a solution but let go was not possible ,it never is by just thinking we can so I got determined to find solution.
Yes I got attached to my beautiful sweet girl friend and I was not the first one to do so ,many have ,many are and many will but the wrong part was I got hurt because I was separated from the attachment and somehow I didn’t know how to FACE IT. So what I was doing earlier was trying temporary solution but her remembrance,her memories still remained and once I was in state of loneliness it call came and again I found myself suffer. Thus I knew these temporary work out will not work ,I need some other way to get over these sufferings.
I will try and tell you what I did so that it may help many who are still in such misery and help those who somehow create this misery. The first thing I did was asked a simple yet a complicated question to myself……WHO IS SUFFERING? oohh this was my first reaction ,who????? This was a very different thought which my mind now had to work on (sshh a secret I like to keep my mind guessing), a different view I took out. My mind answered it is me,myself who is suffering. hmmm ,I again asked ,Who is this me?is this the body which suffers……..no it cannot be body cannot suffer it can at times feel pain but in reality it cannot or never suffers. We go on saying my body but in reality is it ours,it is simply made of 5 elements and to be simple it is made up of what we eat and drink,even science says that human body is made up of 70% water and other part is of what we eat and elements…so this body cannot be mine,never. Suffering maybe of different kinds but the cause is one.The cause is that the hidden harmony between human mind and the cosmic existence is lost.
So since body cannot suffer then who is suffering ?is it the mind but how can mind suffer, I needed to get into more depth . Mind is nothing it is just thoughts,when thoughts are there mind is created ,mind is just memories stored in it. Memory is created by our experiences which are recorded in mind. I now need to dug deeper who is that is suffering, mind again as clever it can be came up with an answer no one is suffering …..but I knew someone is really suffering . AND I knew that how can it be the body and how can it be mind ,then who? The whole problem is with the thought “I”,if somehow this thought “I ” is not there ,then there is no body and all problems will go,but I know body is there….so I now have to question more deeper ,who is that is suffering?
We keep on talking about good and bad,about karma and deeds and all this because we live in a falsity because we think this body is ours so why not leave it in the hands of nature ,leave it in hands of God and let him do what he wants to do ,why not surrender and follow the path known as BHAKTI YOGA ., but we call cannot do because still some doubt may remain .
I am on path of spirituality and I like the simple way of living and thus as they say on spirituality path ask yourself ” WHO ARE YOU ?” ,I started asking myself . Body now I know does not suffer but I needed to see who is then suffering,I am the body is just a thought ,so stupid thought and we are living for centuries in this thought. It is just an instrument . I then thought maybe it is due to emotions I suffer,but again I wanted to know ,What is emotion?
I am her boyfriend and she my girlfriend,these are also thoughts. I tried to remove her away ,removed the girlfriend part,then I removed the moments we had,then I removed the pleasures we shared now there is no boy friend,see only memories are left. Our thoughts are memories and emotion is nothing but only present because of those memories stored in the mind. Thus there are conflicts and clashes because I have my own thoughts about her and she has her thoughts about me ….Now because she left me my thoughts,my memories started creating conflicts with her. She and me in reality are just an combination of memories . I now see it is because that I could not deattach myself from those memories clashes /conflicts started taking place.(hey Soul mate I am sorry).Memory is not a real thing.Girl friend is just memory created by my own thoughts,memory is my creation,it is how I want to see things and all this due to the upbringing we are from that I am body and the other with whom we attach . I am seeing her in the image I created,my girlfriend,my lover.So I got that it is not the problem of body then whose problem is it ,who is suffering? What I think of her is false the truth is what she is .I need to see what reality is (the universal accepted thing is truth which is reality).
To see reality as it is a way of spiritual living but I for some time was seeing reality by my memories which is not spiritual .We need to look at the world ,everyone,everthing without memories..we need to look others on basis of reality.The problem is what I think and she is not at all the cause of suffering. If I see her with hatred that means my memories of her bad is there and when I see her with love it means I see her with good memories. We somehow see things with memories thus our love changes into hatred and our sufferings.,and this is not at all love.This meant I was loving only the memories not the person at all(I love her for real but somehow lost way )
The moment I show things clearer I knew it is so very important to understand the body.,if body is not mine why am I in hurt or pain? If body is made of Nature why cannot I be happy alone?..deep questions asked and I now know things better thus slowly suffering is disappearing and bt the time this post I read again before posting I for sure know there is no more suffering.
Now I at first need to remove those memories,those feelings,those emotions and once again need to become so easy that I become sensitive ,one who feels sensation when touched by different beings or things. I was running behind those positive feelings creating good emotions and suddenly when I started creating negative feelings bad emotions started flowing.
Real love is not based on emotions,feelings,memories. When there is no memory ,when we lose each other into one then there is Love ,the ultimate pure love. Friends love is very deep and deeper is knowing cause of suffering and more deeper to know how to get away from this. I did and I will love that whoever is suffering please it is time you check your self.Our ultimate goal in life is happiness not pleasure,memories when are positive gives pleasure.Understand the difference and check on what are you looking for -happiness or pleasure. Pleasure always gives pain as they are connected,therefore we need a state where we can forget the “I” this “I” is formed from memories.
We all are connected and this is what spitituality says…..now if I have memories of her I see her and if I have memories of myself I see me….thus no conflict,no clash and thus no suffering.
The more we identify ourselves as the thought we are body watch out problem starts.Good or bad I am no more connected with thoughts,memories,feelings and this is enlightment,accepting things remaining deattached .Our real nature is SAT CHIT ANAND.
In the East we have always defined the ultimate truth as SAT-CHIT-ANAND. SAT means truth, CHIT means consciousness, ANAND means bliss. They are all three faces of the same reality. This is the true trinity — not God the Father, and the Son, Jesus Christ, NOT Brahma ,Vishnu,Mahesh that is not the true trinity.
The true trinity is truth, consciousness, bliss. And they are not separate phenomena, it is one energy expressing in three ways, one energy having three faces.
Wandering soul yogi becoming 
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