Apology

I started blogging here because in reality I was trying to forgive myself ,forgive my inner self for been hurt because my body fell in love with someone very deep.My inner self was crying and writing was one way I found my pain will go away and to be honest meeting so many beautiful people I am healing and really healing very fast.I never started posting to impress anyone I only write to express myself.

Till today it was perfect but somehow after I wrote on Law of attraction a beautiful person somehow got hurt and I didn’t mean to ,I simply cannot hurt anyone because I deeply know what hurt,pain,suffering is .According to the wonderful person my post came up after he had  it ,trust me I didn’t even know .I never am against anyone for what they write,it is their freedom and who am I to say against someone’s thoughts.But unknowingly the lovely person got hurt …..Thus I from heart ask you to forgive me and I really want to ask forgiveness from anyone who thinks I write contradictory to someone;s post ,I never do.So in case anyone else feels I am doing something wrong and hurting them you are free to say and if you find hard to comment please you can mail me at 7seaslove@gmail.com  and I will listen to whatever you heart wants to say.In that post I said I don’t think it is a law and this I said because it is not scientifically proven yet and as me many think the same way and I studied it has three phases….Ask,Believe and Receive. SO lol *smiles* I asked for a beautiful girl friend ,I believed she and me will happily remain together married but for some reason the Universe didn’t give me my wish,I failed to complete the whole process of Law of attraction thus I don’t believe,simple.And this is what I really wrote in that post.,you may check it again.

So once again I ask to be forgiven by anyone who thinks I go against your thoughts as I forgive everyone who blames me…*smiles*….Aah sorry about this post but I had to.Have a beautiful day,afternoon,evening,night because we all are scattered in the Universe with different time zones .Love you all.Be blessed.NAMASTE.

Aug 24, 2016 by pawan35 Categories: apology, lifeTags: apology, law of attraction, post 1 Comment

Forgiveness Karma

We need to understand the most fundamental thing, we people in general think that forgiveness is for those who are worthy of it,for those who deserve it. But if somebody deserves, is worthy of forgiveness, it is not much of a forgiveness because we are not doing anything on our part the other already deserves it. This does not really tell us as a being of love and compassion. Our forgiveness will be authentic only when even those who don’t deserve it receive it only then it will show our real love and compassion flowing.It is not a question of whether a person is worthy or not. The question is whether our heart ,whether we are ready or not.

A story I read in a mystic book- of a significant woman mystics, Rabiya al-Adabiya, a Sufi woman who was known for her very eccentric behavior. But in all her eccentric behavior there was a great insight. Once, another Sufi mystic Hasan was staying with Rabiya. Because he was going to stay with Rabiya, he had not brought his own holy Koran, which he used to read every morning as part of his discipline. He thought he could borrow Rabiya’s holy Koran, so he had not brought his own copy with him.In the morning he asked Rabiya, and she gave him her copy. He could not believe his eyes. When he opened the Koran he saw something which no Mohammedan could believe: in many places Rabiya had corrected it. It is the greatest sin as far as Mohammedans are concerned; the Koran is the word of God according to them. How can you change it? How can you even think that you can make something better? Not only has she changed it, she has simply cut out a few words, a few lines — removed them. Hasan said to her, “Rabiya, somebody has destroyed your Koran!” Rabiya said, “Don’t be stupid, nobody can touch my Koran. What you are looking at is my doing.” Hasan said, “But how could you do such a thing?” She said, “I had to do it, there was no way out. For example, look here: the Koran says, “When you see the devil, hate him.” Since I have become awakened I cannot find any hate within me. Even if the devil stands in front of me I can only shower him with my love, because I don’t have anything else left. It does not matter whether God stands in front of me, or the devil; both will receive the same love. All that I have is love; hate has disappeared. The moment hate disappeared from me I had to make changes in my book of the holy Koran. If you have not changed it, that simply means you have not arrived to the space where only love remains.”

We all want to be forgiven if we make a mistake,worthy or unworthy we don’t see,right..then why can’t we simply forgive the other .Simple the other also expects the same behaviour as we are expecting from them…asking a question to self,Do we want others to make us realize our mistakes or want them to forgive us? Now simply putting ourselves in his place the answer we get ,so why we say some are worthy some are not,who are we to decide. 

Just understanding all people ,all animals,all things of the whole world likes that no one hurts them ,the same what we want ….this understanding is spiritual living.  धर्म(DHARAM) or say creed on spiritual living is that we should not hurt someone from thought,body,word,action. Moral Science teaches us that we should treat others the same way we want to be treated by others.,the essence of Buddha.The behaviour we want from others we need to act that way.A bit hard in the world today but trust me as I trust spirituality we will suddenly meet people of same vibes.

How can we ever be happy by being jealous of others,by criticizing others,how can we be happy by hurting others ,we cannot be ,for sometimes maybe we feel good but in a few moments our whole self will start suffering ,now this is Karma….nothing going to happen later everything happens in the same period. We somehow think Karma is something which will happen later and maybe God will punish afterwards,come on we need to be knowing why will God even hurt us,we are his loving childrens..he can never see us suffer,never. We get what we give in just few moments itself ,only a bit of deep understanding of self is needed to realize this. When ever you hurt someone or even think bad of someone see into your heart there suddenly will arise chaos ,noises ,unhappiness and this itself is Karma.Somehow we are growing in ages but we are still childlish in thinking that there is some Karma to happen later.

see you throw a book the near book will fall on you …..this is Karma.

Let me help you with more practical example……with a prayer. First prayer “Oh LORD in this world whoever are whether human,animals,plants,tress,insects may all have peace ,may all be happy,may all be free from suffering,may all get love,may all be good”…..observe the feelings of your heart.                 Second prayer”Oh LORD whoever all are whether human,animals,plants,trees,insects living in this world may suffer,may die,may always be unhappy,may always remain in misery”……..observe the feelings deep inside. I am so sure there is feeling of guilt after second prayer ,see this is Karma the moment we even think bad (action) the feelings in heart(result) is there. The heart beats faster after second prayer which was beating so softly after first prayer.There is no theory to study about Karma all is practical,instant,nothing in future.

Now with this first prayer the world is not going to change,nor things will be like we want but we will feel at peace,we will be in BLISS,the ultimate goal of life.The problems of the world will be there but things around us will change.When we ourselves are happy and in peace we around us will create happiness and people around us will be happy and in peace all because we are sending positive vibes. The new science also accepts that the universe, including us, is made up of energy, not matter. … Quantum physics says that as you go deeper and deeper into the workings of the atom, you see that there is nothing there – just energy waves. Thus the waves we send will come back to us.Therefore the more relaxed we are the more possibilities of been successful .If our inner self is understood and we can meditate it will bring us to the state of a rain cloud, we will forgive everyone without any judgment out of our abundance, out of our love, out of our compassion and won’t then think who is worthy or who is unworthy.

 

 

 

Aug 23, 2016 by pawan35 Categories: apology, karma, life, loveTags: forgive, karma, meditation, self 6 Comments

My mistake not knowing love.

No I was not in relation I thought ……..and there I did the biggest mistake,thinking……I started to be yours thinking I was in love but……… how I formed it into relationship ,how and when did I give it a name ,I really am confused as I look deep inside right now.

It was me who said I love you a lot and I thought I really mean it ……I told you that you deserve the world,I told you that you deserve the smiles then how on Earth is it me who today gave you tears …….see now I understand I never loved you it was only a relationship.Because if you really love someone you never gift tears.

Trust me I never knew when I went to form a relationship instead of loving you,I am not even sure how could I give it a name,I am not even sure how could I demand.  Love is a moment-to-moment process. Love was the state of my being, not a relationship but I mistook it.

So what if you met someone else and fell in love with him ,how come I became jealous ,how I blame you ….if I really loved you I could never bring tears. It was me who declared I have fallen in love with you, I knew it meant something of me has to go and only then there is a love affair. I was willing to destroy a bit of myself for the sake of you.  I really meant that you have become far more important than myself then how on Earth could I change today,how could I bring tears to you.

I feel I was only pretending to love because I gave it a name, relationship. I forgot my own way ,I forgot the basic that to love someone is just enough ,because love in itself is enough and how come I form a relationship.how come I bring tears to your eyes.

Unfortunately, as  most people call “love” I also thought it to be a mutual benefit scheme because I expected it in return and here I did the mistake and this is why I gave tears to your eyes.Love is more then  asking,love is more then wanting,love is more then expecting…love is simply a state,a growth of inner self but I see I mistook and thus gave tears to your eyes.

Relationship may be I formed  just out of fear, I feel it had nothing to do with love. Relationship may be just a kind of security I sought. The relationship is needed only because love is not there. Relationship is a substitute this I understand now but only after I gave tears to your eyes.

Aug 18, 2016 by pawan35 Categories: apology, how & why, life, loveTags: eyes, love, mistake, tears 6 Comments

Wanted but dropped

Life cannot be lived through no, and those who try to live life through no or have to accept it simply go on missing real life. No is like darkness. Darkness has no real existence; it is simply the absence of light.

Do I ask lots,do I want more ,am I demanding lots…………no ,never I really never did ever ask too much ,I never can. All I asked was some of your love with no conditions attached. All I asked was I want to do what I really feel I can. All I asked was your permission,your hand to hold me …..I never asked you to promise me everything I need ,all I asked please let me be the child I am.All I asked was love me as you want but ………I just wanted to be happy why was it so hard for you to understand.

“Love has to be of the quality that gives freedom, not new chains for you; a love that gives you wings and supports you to fly as high as possible.” ~ OSHO~

When I was born I guess my father had already expected too much from me . Father all I wanted was to be a very good son but it seems to you I failed,failed because your defination of good son is so very different…all I was thinking that by respecting you is enough,by obeying you the way was enough but I see that you consider me as a failure. Is it my mistake that I don’t want to be as you want ,aren’t you wrong in demanding too much .I stop my complains,I don’t blame you because you and I are sailing on two different —boats in the ocean of life.

When I grew up and went to school all I wanted was to study that which would help me be who I want to be in life but you teachers may had other defination of life. I don’t blame you because maybe that was what you learned but I saw life in different angle so I did argue and I argued because I wanted to grow. You decided to call me rebel was is it so very wrong to be a rebel. Was I again wrong if I wanted to be the real me ,please understand your boat and my boat are different.

When I was growing ,mom all I wanted was you to support me and care,I am not blaming you because you care,you love me I know. But you gave much importance to my father all because he was the main source who paid all bills,is it right mother.Had I been born with some defect and could not get up from bad would you treat me the same way.I am so sure you understood your son is a little different but made you then not accept me as I am. My journey your journey are different mom.

When my sister was born I was the happiest because now I knew I have someone with whom I can share what I really want,where I want to go but sister how can you say I am wrong all because our father ,mother,teachers say it.I showed you my world just asking you to say it is beautiful but you wanted to be loved by others more so you thought my world is not good because it is different.Sister try and see your path and my path are not and never can be same.

When I was with you friends I tried to say my true feelings,I use to share my journey with you,I tried to show you my world …..but again you too thought I was wrong all because I was not the same as you.You wanted me to say what you wanted to hear but I was blunt ,honest,lived in reality therefore always spoke what was important for you to listen know and this made you think I am wrong. I loved you all,cared for you but maybe you failed to understand now I see your thoughts and my thoughts were flowing in different directions of life we want.

When I met you and slowly understood you,I really did I fell in love and I love you still.All I asked was to hold me tight ,hide me in your arms because all I saw till here in my life was everyone leaving me .All I excepted was that you try and sit with me ,holding arms I wanted to try and show you my life ,my world…but you too it seems had different meaning of love.I guess you wanted the same kind of person you have grown up seeing. No I never will complain because for you my world and your world were different . All I see is that I could not be of worth you wanted.,I am sorry.

Thus all I wanted was to be a son of my father,good student of the teachers,a very nice son of my mom,a loving brother,a good friend,a heart lover but see on this journey of live everyone keeps dropping me from their path…….Is it my mistake if all I want is to be me?

NO my dear Soul I am sorry to hurt you ,your feelings ,I should have rewritten my script before you came to my body to help me see this lovely Universe.But as I am yours ,I know I can and I will be moving ,moving with confidence,moving with smiles.All needed to happen you say and what a beautiful lesson you say I have learned….

If there is an eagerness in my heart and I still am moving,I am alive.
If there are sparks of dreams in my eyes and I still am moving,I am alive.
If I am living freely like the wind ,I am alive.
If every moment I am meeting with open arms,I am alive.
If I know to watch the weather as new,I am alive.
If there is bewilderment in my eyes,I am alive.

Not all will understand your journey and many times many won’t even try to understand and this is human please don’t feel sad and get stuck there ,there is so much to explore ,keep moving and say to your own self ,you simply rock. Try and see that the other person totally always will not be able to understand us. If we are expecting the other to understand us we need to see the limitations,possibilities,needs,capabilities of that person and once we understand this it means we have accepted him as he is,so easy for us to let go and move on…..there is no complains,no regrets,no blames now.

All I now am going to do is what I want to be and it is now me,myself who decides whatever happens to my life.So I include and accept everyone into my own understanding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 15, 2016Aug 15, 2016 by pawan35 Categories: apology, life, SeparationTags: boat, dad, feelings, friend, how, journey, life, love, mom, promise, sister, soul, teachers, thoughts, understand, universe, why, wrong Leave a comment

why do I doubt now?

When I said I loved you

And you said you loved me.

I said  from heart

And I trusted you from heart

And I really meant it

Now I say I love you

But you don’t reply

Because you love someone else

Then why do I say you hurt me

When at first it was I who believed you

Now how can I doubt you

Maybe

Maybe

Here I see maybe my love was not true

Or my heart was lying

Because love is not a condition

It is not something to ask

It is to be felt

It is just to relate.

(inspired by two writings I read a few minutes ago one by Tosha and other by Valiant Soul)

 

Aug 14, 2016Aug 14, 2016 by pawan35 Categories: apology, lifeTags: doubt, heart, love, someone 5 Comments

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As I continue my journey ,a journey into my inner self ,realizing what I have to so and not to do without anymore judging what is wrong and what is right….I see that a moment when I turned back a little I show I was not able to walk on the path because it seemed I was still blaming others and I was as if blaming you for not continuing the love relationship ,so I stop here a bit and I ask for your apology. I indeed thank you for having taught me so much on the path of life journey till you where with me.

Lessons learnt…….on the path during when you and I walked together.

• Learned and it took me time to accept we are all alone. The whole earth seems to be crowded but still I was alone as I see many are,almost all are. Even when we are in the crowd with others we are still alone. This loneliness became unbearable and now I see this is one reason ,a reason I wanted to get rid of this loneliness, made me create relationship with you so that I could very easily forget myself and my loneliness, so that the time whenever I was with you I could escape from this loneliness that in itself says I really didn’t understand or know what real love is. With this loneliness I was trying to  make a world of my own,forgetting I am part of this cosmos. This world meant that in this relationships my loneliness can be forgotten. And now as I walk knowing my inner self a bit I have learned to accept this loneliness because this is my own nature. I no more run away from it, nor avoiding it but I accept it, embrace it because this is my nature.
• Love is actually painful because it is a transformation. And all this was going to be painful because the old me had to be left for the new. Love is a fundamental for self-knowledge and you helped me earn that. If we cannot know ,understand the other and are not in deep love we will never truly know the other . If there was love with intense passion ,with deep ecstasy then both become mirror for each other and we are then able to see each other. Thank you for allowing and becoming my mirror by loving me deep.
• It is all because of you that I learnt the art of knowing self,the true method,the real one, meditation as I am becoming a watcher. On the journey of life we will be accepted ,we will be rejected,we will have to face failure,we will see success also, we will be praised at times many may condemn us also,  many all kinds of things come in life, but see all are dualities. As we go on seeing,watching,looking at these dualities from the SOURCE a third dimension arises in us,it is a blessing by the Universe itself. Happiness and unhappiness the two dualities we watch and suddenly a deep dimension in the depth arises ,i.e the witnessing,we become the watcher. Lesson learned that at this moment I will be Bliss,the third dimension brings out. This bliss has no opposite.

 

 

 

Aug 8, 2016Aug 9, 2016 by pawan35 Categories: apology, UncategorizedTags: apology, lesson, loneliness, nature, oneness, self 23 Comments